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Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Kinsella Effect? - More ink and stolen ideas

Rocco Rossi isn't going to be Toronto's next mayor, but he sure seems to be getting his money's worth out of Warren Kinsella.

Veteran Liberal Party strategist Warren Kinsella recently joined Rossi's team. Rossi is consistently polling last or near last out of the 5 major Toronto mayoral candidates. Yet since acquiring Kinsella, he has been getting as much press as front-runner Rob Ford.

Most of this press has been the announcement of new Rossi policies. But what is most interesting is that the press isn't mentioning that these new Rossi policies are ideas that Rob Ford was pushing at the beginning of his campaign, like cutting the size of city council in half.

I can imagine a conversation* between Kinsella and Rossi:

Rossi: "I can't believe it! No matter what that fat bastard does, people still like him more than me!"

Kinsella: "He's tapped into the public vein of discontent, Rocco. People are sick of status quo politicians and people are sick of government waste. Ford represents this sickness sweeping the public."

Rossi: "How do we cure this sickness, Warren!? How do we get the stupid fools to see the light and understand that only I am the true salvation for Toronto!?"

Kinsella: "Rocco, Rocco! Which party were you were the National Director of? Did you learn nothing in that time? We use the most time-honored Liberal strategy! We lie! We'll re-cast you as a kinder, gentler Rob Ford. The suckers will eat it up! Torontonians are too sophisticated for a bumpkin like Ford, but they are sick of government waste. So if we take Ford's ideas and have them come out of your mouth, it's a no-lose strategy. I'll call my media acolytes and get on it!"

Rossi: "But Warren! Lying to the public! And such an obvious, pandering lie that anyone who knows about me will be able to see through! Are the public that stupid?"

Kinsella: "Remember when Jean Chretien won the election by lying about how he would get rid of the GST? Who do you think came up with that one?!"

Rossi: "Warren, you're a genius!"

Kinsella: "I know, Rocco. I know." 

* This is purely an invented conversation for satire's sake

1 comment:

Blazingcatfur said...

The Lying Jackal is a buffoon, I wonder if Rossi knows he attacked Jews by threatening to cut off the Canada Israel Committee from access to the Liberal Party?

The Lying Jackal - Too stupid not to leave a paper trail http://blazingcatfur.blogspot.com/2009/03/lying-jackal-too-stupid-not-to-leave.html