Canada's Official Opposition to introduce Bill outlawing blasphemy against Mohammed and Jack Layton

OTTAWA - In the wake of protests by Canadian Muslims insulted by a YouTube video mocking Islam's prophet Mohammed and comments by Conservative MP Rob Anders about the New Democratic Party's former leader who is worshiped as a deity withing his party, Canada's Official Opposition announced plans to introduce a Bill outlawing blasphemy.

"The Supreme Court has ruled that there are limits to free speech in Canada" said Opposition House Leader Nathan Cullen,  "and surely insults to divine figures like Jack Layton and the Prophet Mohammed cannot be accepted in civil society."

Opposition Leader Thomas Mulcair was quick to clarify that the proposed Bill would not impose new  restrictions on rights Canadians already enjoy. "These blasphemy regulations will not curtail Canadians' right to insult Jesus, Christianity, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, and other religions beside Islam and the deities and prophets they hold sacred. But just as you cannot shout fire in a crowded theater, it is now globally accepted that insults to the Prophet affect his followers in a way that inevitably leads to murder and violence."

NDP Deputy Leader Libby Davies explained why Jack Layton is to be included as a protected figure withing the blasphemy Bill.  "Obviously the right wing neo-Cons like Rob Anders learned nothing from the death threats Christie Blatchford received following the blasphemous article she wrote about Jack days after his death", she stated. "Jack is sitting in heaven with the Prophet Mohammed where the two are now dear friends, and they are both furious at the posthumous insults they are expected to endure. Obviously stronger measures are needed and legislation is the only way to appease their fury."

Penalties in the proposed legislation would be beheading for a first offense, with subsequent infractions punishable by compelling the offender to listen to children's entertainer Raffi sing his rendition of Jack Layton's deathbed letter.