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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Canadian Islamic Congress' Mohamed "Elmo" Elmasry tries his hand at comedy

Anyone who still doubts Jason Kenney's assertion that, "so much of the criticism Israel faces is motivated by a dangerous form of anti-Semitism that tries to hide behind anti-Zionism and is represented by a coalition of the far left in the West with extreme currents of jihadi Islam" need only look to the pages of The Rotting Horseflesh The Canadian Charger to see it proved true. That magazine, founded by the notorious former head of the Canadian Islamic Congress, Mohamed "Elmo" Elmasry, is a mirror reflection of the radical leftist rabble.ca which touts Marxism with an Islamist tilt. The   Canadian Charger's approach is as an Islamist mouthpiece with a bit of Marxist flavour.

One slight difference between rabble and the Horseflesh is that while rabble is, in the best traditions of the Canadian Marxist movement, utterly devoid of humor or wit, the Horseflesh at least makes a stab at levity.

The Horseflesh did a recent profile of an Egyptian-Canadian comedian. I hope for his sake, the comedian is funnier than the profile reflects. Reuel S. Amdur, who authored it, has less jocularity than the cartoon Family Guy's wet blanket, Buzz Killington.

"Unfortunately, hugging and kissing young children (other than one’s own) is looked upon with suspicion" 
Mohamed Elmasry in The Canadian Charger

But don't get dismayed, jovial jihadis. It's not like there is only one person trying their hand at amusement on the Horseflesh's pages. None other than Mohamed Elmasry himself has provided his readers with non-stop laughs with his recent essay, entitled "Beauty and love are disappearing from our lives."

I assume Elmo was trying to be funny when he writes, "In Western culture, it is acceptable to hug and kiss between opposite sexes, but not openly between those of the same sex. Unfortunately, hugging and kissing young children (other than one’s own) is looked upon with suspicion."

He must have been imagining a comedy skit called Elmo the Pedo, where he runs around "hugging and kissing young children (other than one's own)," and trouble and hilarity ensue. Is this his idea for a pilot for a show called Saturday Night Live from Mecca? Little Mosque on the Ground Zero? Or maybe Medina, the other Second City?

I mean he had to be kidding, right? Wasn't he was kidding when he said "yes, I would say" everyone in Israel and anyone and everyone in Israel, irrespective of gender, over the age of 18 is a valid target ?

That Elmo is always a barrel of laughs.

Somebody needs to update Elmo about what's acceptable in Western Culture though. It is acceptable for people of the same sex to openly hug and kiss. It's death by hanging in Iran. Elmo must have fumbled his way through our immigration requirements before the most recent version of Canada's citizenship guide came out.

Although Elmo never actually clarifies which gender of child other than one's own he's interested in hugging and kissing, he is right; it generally isn't acceptable for old, bearded men who aren't Santa Claus to hug and kiss other people's children. If he's interested in changing that, there's a group called NAMBLA (North American Man-Boy Love Association) which will help him lobby for that cause.

But I could be misinterpreting. Elmo isn't talking just about love between grown-ups and children. He wants the world to be one big happy non-Jewish love fest. And how do you do that? Why, you condemn things that people enjoy as part of their culture, of course!

You ban Sumo wrestling in Japan (Elmo: "In Japan, individual Sumo wrestlers are fed far beyond the needs of several normal human beings and inevitably die of obesity-related ailments at a young age.")

Elmo demonstrated his advanced sense of irony by writing in a Canadian magazine, that our national pastime is some sort of bloodsport comparable to Mixed Martial Arts, but worse! (Elmo: "In Canada, hockey players seem to do more on-ice fighting than playing and sometimes the final score is death.")

You ban female mud wrestling, because, of course, those two women writhing around in bikinis in mud, falling over each other, must be doing it because of some personal animosity they have for each other or just the desire to inspire repulsion, (Elmo: " in another dubious “sport,” women wrestle one another in a muddy arena with little point to the exercise but the grossness of it all").

And in a comedic tour de force, Elmo offers this hysterical parody of a raving lunatic: "Stores may sell numerous beauty products today, but where could you ever buy the Beauty of the Divine? We have all but lost our human spiritual receptors to appreciate Divine beauty. At home and school our children are rarely exposed to the essential twin values of beauty and love."

You're a riot, Elmo! No more beauty and love in Canadian homes and schools!

Well, maybe not the homes that froth at the mouth with lust for the blood of Israelis. And it's hard to gauge beauty under a burka, but these are minor points. What's important is that Elmo has, in his own very small way, shown that he may possess the capabilities of looking at the lighter side of life. That could be the first step towards ending the bitterness which I assume is what has been motivating him for so long.

That's got to be what's happening, isn't it? I mean, he couldn't possibly have been serious, could he?

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