Ryan Bellerose:Things Jews Are Bad At

Dear Jews. We all know that you control the media. I mean seriously, you guys are an omnipresent super-secret cabal that controls the ebb and flow of information, and yet, you do a terrible job of getting your puppets to say nice things about you. In fact, if one didn’t know better, one might thing that you didn’t control the media at all. Heck, the level of demonization you allow on your personal etch-a-sketch is either a brilliant cover, or you simply suck at twisting those little white nobs.

Israel, it’s time to drop the G word: You guys are really bad at genocide, I mean shockingly, awful at it. Any tin pot dictator of a banana stand can conduct a Genocide (sit down Kim Jong Un. You don’t even have bananas). Yet, Israel – you guys somehow manage to fail at genocide – not just fail, but spectacularly so. Everyone knows that to conduct a proper genocide, you have to drastically reduce a population using violent means. So, why is it that, during your “genocide” of the Palestinians, their population has literally (okay, figuratively) exploded six fold? Get your act together, Hebrews! This is literally the WORST GENOCIDE EVER. Its like you aren’t even trying…. Don’t you realize that you have a multitude of neighbors who you can teach you how to fill out the proper paper work? You’ve got Syria, Iraq, Iran – the list goes on.

Your ethnic cleansing? Well, that was a pretty epic fail, too. There are nearly 2 million Arabs living in Israel. Jeesh, You should just look at your annoying neighbor, the Palestinian Authority, to see ethnic cleansing done right. They have zero Jews. ZERO. And their percentage of Christians has now shrunk below 5%. Those guys can really teach you Israelis a thing or two about ethnic cleansing...