People of Philadelphia, you can rest easy. Chris Pagano, alleged Swiss Cheese Pervert, has been arrested, six days after Philly Mag broke the story...
Philadelphia Police were unable to confirm the arrest, but the Norristown Police Department says that Pagano was picked up this morning in a joint action by the Norristown and Philadelphia police departments and that Pagano is now in the custody of the Philadelphia Police Department.
...Reports surfaced that the Swiss Cheese Pervert had been seen in the Mayfair neighborhood of Philadelphia....
...Court documents revealed that Pagano was arrested in 2009 after he allegedly “removed a large block of cheese from his pocket” and offered a woman on the street “$20 to rub the Swiss cheese on his penis.” Pagano pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct, and a solicitation charge against him was dismissed...
|The traumatised victim refused to comment|
Look, I get why the cops would want his hands up - really, I do - but were guns necessary?
You know, this story goes a long, long way in explaining why society is doomed. It's this hatred of both adventure and capitalism!
It's getting so you can't even help a broad make twenty bucks anymore...
When that great proponent of laissez faire capitalism, Justin Trudeau, becomes Prime Minister, things such as these will be able to occur in Canada, free from the oppression of state apparatus.
In the spirit of fairness, I hope a a Philadelphia Cream Cheese pervert is discovered in Switzerland.
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